I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We are all done wearing pants today
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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