so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
