I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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