It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just had sex bonerless
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
