Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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