He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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