A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it's like iHOP with fire
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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