you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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