I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
