Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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