That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
