some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
