He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
