oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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