for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think a kid would responsible me up
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
