I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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