I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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