i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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