Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
