i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
