where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
