lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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