Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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