Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
