I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why do cheetos always look like penises
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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