I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
