there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize