Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
