the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
