By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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