just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
