No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize