you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
