Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
