at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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