but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
