playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
