How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want a musical about memes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
