Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize