I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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