I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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