lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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