I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I looked at my own cervix.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
