all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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