Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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