we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
