i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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