I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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