JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
bring money and cleavage
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Someone signed my nipple.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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