that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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