I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
