question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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