Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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