I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
