Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
